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Thos. Martin
Shaping The Stummels
Wednesday, 7 February 2007
Tobacco Fiction
Topic: Other News
Altadis Voodoo Queen** in a selfmade Black Friar:

The blend was unabashedly laced with Perique and enough Latakia to smoke like a backwood distillery. I picked a stick out of the pouch and am fairly sure there were also a few rocks in it- like kidney stones I could not pass. After the first Jarring light, it seemed to be off-gassing as if I'd stepped in a bog, and tasted like I imagine peat would taste if I packed it my pipe and smoked it.

The "room note" was aweful, enough to chase away snakes, women, children, and animals: wild and domestic. Somewhere after the middle of the bowl I blacked out... woke up in a small woodshack with my head shaved and rope burns across my chest. Cloven hoof prints headed back toward the wood. Black magic.

Trying to regain my composure, instinctively I reached for my pipe. It was still burning. I puffed again at this Voodoo Queen and coughed until my shaven head ached! In the name of all that is Holy, I knocked the dottle from the bowl and swore to God I'd never smoke it again. I felt a stabbing pain in my chest as if struck by lightning. It was then I noticed, nailed to a cyprus beam, the voodoo doll in my likeness.

I grabbed it, crossed myself and ran. Voodoo Queen, I hated her for what she had done to me but I'll be back someday to finish what I started. Despite my promise. Despite myself. Someday.

_______________________________________

* I wouldn't smoke again if you gave it to me
** I"ll finish what I have but will not buy again
*** Would defineately buy it again sometime...
**** Would defineately buy it again by the pound

Posted by thos.martin at 9:16 PM EST
Updated: Tuesday, 27 February 2007 9:18 AM EST
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