Funny thing hapened while smoking Stokkebye's Bullseye Flake...  This is a true story, and it could happen to you. I'm at a red light lighting my pipe and a very attractive woman walks by. Let's just say I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing, (lighting my pipe).

So I'm smoking on my pipe and its tasting like Butane, which was odd since I used a match to light it. Then it starts tasting like kerosene and I thinking what the... I start hearing all this crackling, like my tobacco was a small campfire or something.

I look down and the contents of my ashtray were on fire! Flames coming out of it and lapping on my dashboard. Earlier in the day I had peeled off the little plastic sticker from my windshield that tells me when to get my oil changed. They send me a reminder anyway.

Well the lit match I put in the ashtray ignited it along with a bunch of matchsticks, and two or three used pipecleaners. Talk about distracted driving, I'm driving down Storrow drive trying to put out a small car fire before my Zebrano dash is engulfed in flames. So I closed the ashtray thinking it wouldn't get any oxygen... I wish I could say that was the end of the story.

I'll spare you the rest, but lets just say things got worse. I only told you as much as I did as a warning: Be careful out there, this could happen to you!

• Don't smoke Bullseye in the car!
• Never peel the oil change reminder off your windshield
• And if ya gotta check out the ladies, for God's sake, light your pipe later!

I can only imagine what would happen if I peeled the tags off my mattress!!!!!